Issue #2: "Ragged Beauty" by Patti Jo Amerein

February 2025, BODY

Introduction by Nina Lichtenstein

According to philosopher and Holocaust survivor Emmanuel Levinas, "seeing the other" is fundamentally important because it creates an immediate ethical responsibility towards that person, where the "face" of the other, in a face-to-face encounter, demands our response and recognition of their vulnerability, thus placing an infinite responsibility on us to care for them, regardless of any shared characteristics or prior relationship; essentially, the encounter with the other is the foundation of ethics itself.

In my first encounter with Patti Jo Amerein’s “Ragged Beauty,” it was the narrator’s yearning to be seen that resonated with me. Since I spend much time considering how our bodies carry our stories in the most visceral way, on reading I noticed that tug, that unmistakable aliveness of the connective tissue between our physical and emotional experiences. The piece is raw, grotesque, tender, and brave, and shows how our thirst for recognition remains the most basic human need. The ability of Amerein’s story to evoke how this profoundly emotional and existential yearning is experienced through the (sometimes suffering and compromised) body, is what made it stand out.

And now, our chosen piece for “BODY.”

“Ragged Beauty” by Patti Jo Amerein

I cut away thick, dead calluses on the soles of my feet with the sharp blade of a razor. I dig ingrown toenails out of my deformed toes and toughen up raw blisters on my heels with salt. I rub chemical solvent onto my knees leaving my joints free from the stab of pain and my mouth filling with the taste of metal. I fill the sink with ice and submerge my face until I can’t feel my cheeks but the bags under my eyes are gone. I cover my current bruises and past scars with body makeup. I attach spidery black false eyelashes to my eyelids with glue that irritates my skin. I paint my lips blood red and rub Vaseline on my teeth to keep the color from bleeding onto them. I slip into flesh-toned fishnet stockings that support, enhance, and define the musculature of my long lean tired legs. I step into three-inch heels and secure them to my overworked feet with heavy-duty buckles and thick elastic bands. Climbing stairs that lead from the basement to the stage, I laugh with the other dancers. We tell dirty jokes, divulge secrets, and bitch about boyfriends. In front of a mirror that holds the memories of a thousand reflections, I drop the faded, tattered robe that shields my naked body. Dressers help me into my costume: forty pounds of ostrich feathers and rhinestones held together with welded wire that they secure to my six-foot feminine frame with hooks and straps. Cupping my bare breasts in my hands behind a heavy red velvet curtain that smells of dust and cigarette smoke, I wait. The house lights dim. The audience settles. The curtain rises. A flood of 30,000 lumens embraces my silhouette and brings me to life.

Light dances and flashes and sparks a memory—a memory of me as a little girl. Mama! Look at me! Watch what I can do! And she does. She watches my perfect little body twisting and twirling on the stained carpet of our rundown apartment floor. Beyond the ashtray and the dirty dishes and the empty beer bottles, she smiles. She claps. She is so proud. And in that moment, I have her attention. Her full attention. At that moment she loves me more than the alcohol or the pills or the man she brought home last night, passed out upstairs.

The sea of bodies in front of me and their audible gasp of awe brings me back to the present. Brings me back to the stage I am standing on and the glamourous showgirl I am. All eyes are transfixed on this sparkly, glittery version of me. Powerful. Magnificent. Untouchable. The perfect embodiment of poise and elegance, fantasy and reality. They are mesmerized by my tall, beautiful, stunning, pain-filled body. I have their attention. They see the costume, the extravagance, and the spectacle. They see it all. But they don’t see me.

Photo credit: StockSnap, Pixabay

Author Spotlight

Nina: Can you tell us about what attracted you to the theme of “Body,” this month’s focus for In A Flash?

Patti Jo: Initially, when I saw this month’s theme was Body, I approached it from a metaphorical or abstract point of view—a body of water or a body of work. Then, I decided to stop overthinking it and write about what I know best: the human body—the pain it can endure and the beauty it can create. I’m a dancer. I’ve been dancing my entire life, always found rehearsing in a studio, performing, teaching at the local college, or simply entertaining myself while vacuuming. Alongside dancing, I’m also a Pilates instructor. I love to move, love to watch people move, and love teaching people to move better. The theme of “Body” drew me in because not only does it represent everything I am passionate about, but it is also deeply personal yet universal. The human body is always visible—present in every interaction—but what lies beyond it, what defines us as individuals, is rarely truly seen. I’ve come to understand that we all hold stories, emotions, and experiences worth recognizing. Writing about the body feels like a meaningful way to celebrate what often goes unnoticed.

Nina: We learn from your essay to what degree your work as a performance artist is incredibly immersive and physical, and we can also see that writing is another creative outlet for you. Do you enjoy any other creative or physical endeavors?

Patti Jo: Creatively, I write and knit. Physically, I ride horses. My grandmother taught me to knit when I was five. I’ve knitted on and off since then, although currently I only knit baby socks and hats. It’s my version of “Flash” knitting.
I got into riding in my mid-thirties after I quit performing. A dancer friend of mine introduced me to Dressage and I fell in love with it! Its lyrical movement is very similar to dancing, however, not only do you have to control the movement of your own body, but you also have to control the movement of a 1200-pound animal. It’s challenging and rewarding. There is nothing like the feeling when you and your horse become one; synchronized. It’s beautiful, and quite amazing.

Nina: What intrigues you about the Flash genre?

Patti Jo: I only learned about the concept of writing “flash” last year. Prior to that, I had no idea it existed. And, yes, the rock I live under IS beautiful. Thank you for asking. When I heard about the genre, I was really excited to get more information. It just so happens that my essays tend to be under 800 words. I find the compact nature of short form very clean, concise, pure, and challenging. It’s like polishing the tarnish out of the intricate carvings of an antique silver Samovar. It’s tedious work, but when completed, it shines brilliantly. Once I started diving into the genre, I discovered so much content! That’s how I came across In A Flash on Substack. I subscribed immediately. Flash nonfiction and micro-memoir fascinates me. As I continue to explore it, I continue to be amazed at how much emotion, depth, and resonance can be packed into such a small space. It’s a reminder that sometimes, less truly is more.

What Our Co-Editors Had To Say

Cindy: “Ragged Beauty” is a masterpiece of storytelling in a tiny package. As readers, we’re never quite sure of the narrator’s identity – and neither is she – and that’s the point. Yet despite this fluidity, the writing is grounded in the concrete, physical preparations of a performer stepping onto the stage. The writer deftly transitions through time, excavating memories, and revealing the source of her lifelong yearning in her mother’s smile.

Kate: This piece on the price of beauty and the way beauty often hides our deepest pain and scars pulses with the desire to be truly seen and loved. I loved the way the brutal reshaping of a body and the repetition of actions beginning with “I” statements led us away from the narrator’s focus on outer beauty and into the inner turmoil of a person seeking connection and love.

Casey: I was immediately taken with the physicality of this piece as juxtaposed with the deeper significance, that though spectators see the outer shell and all the work that’s gone into creating this well-choreographed façade, what they’re missing is the essence of the individual herself. And all of this is rendered in language that captures us with its specificity and urgency, driving relentlessly toward the punch at the end, in words neither lofty nor metaphoric, just the simplicity of language that says exactly what it means.

Leanne: The steady expansion of this piece-- starting with a small, personal action and widening to encompass an audience-- is what attracts me. It feels like a camera slowly pulling back; meanwhile, the soul of the subject is discovered to be hidden from view. Masterful.

Author Bio

Patti Jo began her career as a Las Vegas showgirl, performing in iconic productions such as Le Folies Bergère and Jubilee!! For over a decade, she high kicked her way across stages worldwide. Now nursing a couple of bad knees and a burning desire to write, she shares the stories of her unique and glamorous life, peppered with unsolicited advice on how to fulfill dreams, risk big, and live boldly.

Submission Calls

Enjoyed Patti Jo Amerein’s essay? YOU could be our next featured author!

From February 1-15, please submit pieces on the theme of GROWTH.

—No submissions in March—

From April 1-15, please submit pieces on the theme of LIGHT.

From May 1-15, please submit pieces on the theme of HOME.

Before submitting, please refer to our Submission Guidelines page. (We’ll be linking to it in every new post, don’t worry!)

What’s Going On With Us

Nina Lichtenstein’s Maine Writers Studio is now accepting applications to their annual, free, one-week writing retreat, June 14-21, in Brunswick, Maine. Deadline: February 28th. For more information and to apply, go HERE

Kate Lewis has two new poems out in the world - “Ars Poetica” with Literary Mama and “The Final Oyster” in the gallery at The Nature of Our Times!

Casey Mulligan Walsh published a reprint of "The Beautiful Game" (first published in The Under Review) in Sugar Sugar Salt on February 19, 2025.

We’re all very excited that Casey’s memoir, The Full Catastrophe: All I Ever Wanted, Everything I Feared, releases from Motina Books on February 18, 2025! Pre-order your copy today via the links on the website. (Leanne and Nina were lucky enough to read an ARC and can testify that it’s incredible!)